Wednesday, April 08, 2020

F: Forty

I remember teasing my dad (with my mom's help) when he turned 40. We went up on the flat roof of our house so we wouldn't make a mess, and decorated a matching pair of t-shirts. Dad's shirt had a hill labeled 40, with a decrepit stick figure man leaning on a stick tottering down the right hand side. At the top were written the words, "Over the Hill". On Mom's shirt, the stick figure, complete with long hair and a skirt, was waltzing up the left hand side of the 40-hill, and the label was "And a Long Way Off". My parents wore those t-shirts as pajamas for years, well after Mom was officially over that particular hill. I didn't really think of them as old, but it was fun to tease.
There are stories about people who try to avoid admitting their age. I've often repeated the joke about the woman who, while under oath in a court of law, is asked how old she is. "Thirty-nine and some months," she replies. "How many months?" Silent calculations, then, "One hundred eight."

But I am not ashamed to admit my age. I've done a few things to fill up those years, and they have all molded me into the person I am today. I've lived in 12 cities in 5 countries. I have a bachelor of science degree from Caltech, but I earn money giving private violin and piano lessons. I drove a car into a tree 16 years ago and spent 6 weeks in a wheelchair, but now I run at least 22 km every week. I will have been married for 17 years in July, and my oldest child will be 16. I have seen God do some powerful work in my life and anticipate his continued transformation. 40 years is not too long for being who I am.

Tuesday, April 07, 2020

E: Easter Cookies

One of our favorite family traditions is making Easter cookies. The children make them and they go into the oven on Saturday night and we all devour them with excitement and appreciation on Resurrection Sunday morning. I'm posting this with a few days to spare, so you can brave the grocery store to get ingredients and perhaps add this to your children's Easter celebration this unusual year, as we need more reminders than ever that Jesus has conquered death.

Ingredients:
1 cup whole pecans*
1 teaspoon vinegar
3 egg whites
a pinch salt
1 cup sugar

Extra equipment:
a plastic zipper bag
a wooden spoon
tape
a Bible

First, preheat your oven to 300F. Don't wait on this; the oven has to be hot before you are ready to put the cookies in.

Place the pecans in the zipper bag and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break them into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, he was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 teaspoon of vinegar into a mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave his life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup of sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because he loves us. He wants us to know and belong to him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto parchment paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven and close the door. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Give each child a long piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66.

When the timer goes off, turn the oven OFF but leave the door shut. Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20.

On Resurrection Sunday (Easter) morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9.

*I know some of my friends have nut allergies. Since these are meringue cookies and the nuts are just an add-in, you might be able to substitute chocolate.

Sunday, April 05, 2020

D: Dogs

In the past few years, I have become terrified of dogs. Not the dogs of people I know, dogs that are well cared for and treated as pets, dogs that pay attention to their owners and are under their control. What incites an increased heart rate and trembling muscles is seeing dogs wandering the neighborhood at their own behest, and having no idea whether or not they will try to eat me.

I know. Dogs don't eat people, at least not usually. But they do bite, and this has happened to almost half the members of our fairly large household on 3 separate occasions. The first time was about 2 years ago. E14 (12) and B10 (8) were heading down a neighborhood street early in the morning on the way to run along the beach, and some neighbors had left their gate open. Their pet dog rushed out onto the sidewalk where my boys were innocently walking and sank its teeth unprovoked into E14's leg. He returned home bleeding. I was ready to take a stick and bludgeon the animal into a pulp, but fortunately (for our relationship with the neighbors if not for my Mama Bear complex), Ari was still home. He took the stick, went alone to the house with the loose dog, and repeatedly hit the ground next to the dog, yelling, "Bad dog! You bit my boy! Bad dog!" This had the desired effect of summoning the neighbors, who were sincerely apologetic and promised to keep their gate properly shut.Which they usually do - I've seen the dog loose twice since but have taken pains to avoid it and my children know to do the same.

A few weeks later, P15 (13) returned home shaking. A different dog on a different neighborhood street had rushed out of its inadequate gates and grabbed at her leg as she walked past on the sidewalk. It didn't break the skin, but she had a large bruised area. I drove over to the house she mentioned, where the dog was back in its enclosure. (A gap in the fence had been covered over with an oven rack, but this was far from equal to the task). I yelled to try to attract the owner's attention, but it was mid afternoon and he was still at work. However, another neighbor walked by and heard me. She told me, "Oh, that dog. He comes out all the time and barks at kids and chases them." Okay, back to Mama Bear mode. I wasn't sure exactly what to do, but I was not happy with living in a neighborhood where a dog routinely threatened children. I wound up calling the police, who got animal control to remove the dog, as the owner was not able to provide adequate security for it.

Later that summer, I was out for a run along the main road that runs along the beach. There are various homeless people living in tents and cars all along that part of the beach, and as I ran a dog rushed out at me and started chasing me. I ran faster, but it kept gaining on me. Eventually I tripped and fell headlong, hoping it wouldn't bite my face. But as soon as I fell, it lost interest and walked away. Later E14 told me he'd found that if you slowed to a walk, they would usually leave you alone. Good to know.

About a year ago, I was running again when I saw several fairly small dogs milling around ahead of me. I immediately slowed to a walk, but they surrounded me, barking. I hoped if I was as non-agressive as possible they would lose interest, but two of them bit me above the ankles. Then they decided they had had enough and crossed the street, disappearing into the brush at the base of the mountains. I suppose they may have belonged to homeless people living in that area. The bites weren't serious enough to need more than peroxide and band-aids, but it shook me.

This was when I started carrying pepper spray. A friend who knows a lot about dogs suggested I try a citronella spray that would annoy but not hurt them. However, such spray doesn't seem to be available on the island, and there are rules preventing shipping it here as well, so I was stuck actually walking into a gun store (way outside my comfort zone) and buying mace, not because I'm afraid of human attackers, but because I really don't want to be bit again.

This morning, I was running along, not too far from where I fell down running away from the first homeless dog. I saw a loose dog in the distance. It was wearing a collar. I slowed to a walk, then crossed the street, hoping to avoid a confrontation. The dog crossed after me, and I yelled threats at it. It crossed back and disappeared behind a car back on the beach side of the road. I thought it was the owners' car, and didn't expect to see the dog again. After I'd run my planned distance, I turned around and ran back the way I'd come. The same dog rushed across the street again as I approached. I yelled, but it kept coming at me. I know mace can really hurt dogs, so I sprayed below its face instead of in it, hoping the smell alone would drive it away. It backed off for a bit, then kept on after me. I backed away, yelling, until finally it crossed back to the other side of the road and I felt I was far enough that it wouldn't chase me. No sign of any owner.

I hate that I have to carry pepper spray. It makes me angry that people let their wild, potentially violent animals roam at will and threaten random passers by. I simply don't understand the mindset, the irresponsibility. I know responsible dog owners on my street who keep their dogs under control, but don't walk them in the neighborhood because of the real probability of being attacked. I feel like there should be something we could do to make the neighborhood safer for pedestrians and good dogs. I just don't know what it is.

Friday, April 03, 2020

C: Control

I have my own plans.

This is often quite funny.

Just ask my children.

I was going to write a long post on how I enjoy being in control, and am gradually learning to roll with the punches and make do with how life goes. It is particularly easy to see I am not in control during this season of "social distancing" (and I prefer the suggestion I've heard of calling it "physical distancing", trying to be as social as we can without the physical proximity). My planned blogging time was eaten, though, by factors beyond my control.

I could have controlled B10's desire to bake complicated cookies by disappointing him with a "no" - that part was under my control, though it was clearly better to allow this wild element into our lives in order to give him control of the kitchen with myself in a merely advisory position. My advice was needed frequently.

Then, I heard the cries of "It's bleeding a lot!" coming from above E5's shrieks. H8 had whacked him in the head with a padded pole whose padding was apparently not adequate to the task. Head wounds do bleed more than other kinds, and although the blood generated here was disturbing it wasn't enough to suggest stitches would be needed. (Now there's an out of control situation I'm thankful to avoid - adding to our medical providers' burden in the middle of an epidemic). I calmed the children, pressed a wet cloth to E5's head, and waited for the bleeding to stop. Once I had washed out his hair and saw the cut, I was able to reassure him that it was only a few millimetres wide. I could control my children by refusing to let them play with padded sticks, and I attempted to add some control by prohibiting whacking people ("you can hit your brother's stick, but not your brother"). But childhood injuries are largely out of one's control even with strict rules.

My insides are still tied up in knots the way they often are when I am reminded I'm not in control. I am glad to have the reassurance that God, who knows much more about what I and my family really need, actually is in control, and his children's foibles don't cause him to lose control.

Thursday, April 02, 2020

B: Belonging

"Where are you from?"

It's the question that haunts people like me with a globally mobile childhood. People hear my accent, or just think the question is a quick and easy way to figure me out, and suddenly I'm evaluating pros and cons. How much detail do they want? What do they mean by "from"? How far back do I need to go? I have a short answer (My dad's South African, my mom's Norwegian, and I grew up all over the world), a much more detailed answer, an algorithm to break it down by percentages, and a few flippant answers (I'm from my parents. How about you? or Oh, everywhere but here).

That last answer - "everywhere but here" - is what brings me to today's topic: belonging. Certain characteristics mark people as belonging to a group. Physical characteristics such as pale skin meant I was told by another child in Dallas that I was lying when I said I was from Africa. (You obviously don't belong here, but your explanation of your funny accent must be false, because you don't look like it!). My accent has always marked me as not belonging. One of my early memories, from our church in Israel (which we left when I was 4), is of being surrounded by a group of American and Canadian teens trying to get me to pronounce party "parrr-dy" instead of "pah-tee". A year later, my South African nursery school teacher noted that I overpronounced my "r"s. I have never sounded like the people around me, never not been foreign. This can work to one's advantage - I was asked to be a focus group's mouthpiece in college because my accent made me sound "more professional" - but it would be nice to have a place I didn't stand out. Being a math geek who is hopeless with round moving objects and considers fashion a waste of time didn't help.

The place I felt the most belonging was Caltech. I arrived on campus and saw a sign on a computer in the library: "Out of order. Please do NOT try to fix it!" I knew I had come home. There is nothing like trying to design a space elevator during late-night socializing with friends, going to a restaurant and getting into an argument that can only be solved with diagrams on a napkin, and watching the sun rise on a problem set to whose solution you have contributed freshly baked bread and well placed questions. But I found that this belonging, at least to a physical location, didn't outlast graduation. When I returned for a 5-year reunion event, none of the current students knew me, and I wasn't suffering through impossible assignments with them - I no longer belonged.

One day, when I was in South Africa during a year I took off from Caltech, I was feeling utterly beaten down at my lack of belonging. I had been volunteering with Scripture Union, a ministry that ran camps for children among other things, and one of my co-workers had wounded me. She had been telling the children about social decay, corrupt morals in American movies - "and Jane's an American." I had TOLD her I was South African. Of course, my accent proved I was lying. But I couldn't have stayed in America during my year off, because my visa didn't permit it - I had to go "home" to South Africa, where I had no friends. As I sat in my room, I thought, "I'm an alien everywhere. There's something in the Bible about being an alien. I think it's in 1 Peter 1." I scanned the chapter and didn't see anything, and then had an intrusive thought that didn't come from my own mind: "You want 1 Peter 2:9." That's weird, I thought. Might as well look at it, though - it couldn't hurt.

1 Peter 2:9. But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Me. Part of a holy nation. A nation that extended beyond any human-created boundaries, beyond any physical characteristics or linguistic anomalies, beyond my own time and place, back through time and on into the future. A nation that will endure forever, a kingdom - the kingdom of God - that is taking over the whole world, every tribe and language and people and nation. A nation where I will always belong. And he has called me out of darkness, and I am right where I belong: proclaiming the excellencies of his marvelous light.

Wednesday, April 01, 2020

A: About PlanetaryMom

I just heard about a challenge: the A to Z blog challenge. Each day in April (except Sundays), bloggers are challenged to create a post for a different letter of the alphabet. I am accepting the challenge! Since this blog is something of a blank slate, it seemed appropriate for the first post to serve as an introduction. Without further ado, this post is "About PlanetaryMom" (since "All About PlanetaryMom seemed overly ambitious).

1. I am a child of God. This is the central fact of my identity - that although I cannot earn and have not earned God's favor, he loved me enough to send his Son, Jesus, to die in my place so I could be part of his family. Wherever I have gone on the planet, I have never been out of the loving care of my heavenly Father.

2. I am a wife and mother. My husband, Ari, is an astronomy researcher. He attempts to discover small near-earth asteroids on earth-crossing trajectories before they impact our planet. This involves a lot of convincing robotic telescopes on mountaintops to behave rationally, and coding software to interpret the data they collect. We have five children: a daughter (P15) and four sons (E14, B10, H8, and E5).

3. I grew up all over the planet. My dad's South African, my mom's Norwegian, and I also lived in Israel, Dallas (USA), and Jordan before finishing high school. I attended college in California (except one semester in Denmark), married an American, and have been a US citizen since 3 days before my 4th child was born. I currently live on a beautiful island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, in the house I've lived in for longer than any other house anywhere - almost 5 years.

4. I studied planetary science at Caltech. Though I've largely lost touch with the planetary science community (except secondhand through Ari), I have never lost my love of math. I am easily nerd sniped, and enroll my children in problem solving programs so I can secretly have access to the delicious problems.

5. I homeschool our children. This is partly because I didn't want them to go to anything like 9 schools before finishing eighth grade (see #3 above), and partly because I don't have to feel bad, no matter how many books I buy. I love seeing what they are interested in and being part of it! I also find that homeschooling is a great way for me to grow in character qualities like gentleness and patience.

That's enough for now. But as you faithfully peruse my blog, gentle reader, you will discover more about me and my interests and character. If you have any ideas for topics between B and Z you'd like to see me expound upon in the next month, let me know in the comments.

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